I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
