we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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