What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Everything about him screamed your future.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
