I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
