sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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