Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
