Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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