I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
