Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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