I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
