That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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