Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I've blown a few things in my day
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
