Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
