I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
