is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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