just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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