just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize