Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so let's talk penis.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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