I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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