I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
