don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize