The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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