Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
