they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
