U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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