I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My ass is underappreciated
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
