i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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