dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
