Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
