I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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