that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
