there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
