If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
