girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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