apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
