He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
