dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
