I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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