sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
