So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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