I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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