Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
