I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
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I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize