A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you had me at cake vodka
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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