hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
