My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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