Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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