I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
