what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
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