..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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