Pants 0. Shit 1.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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