But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
