yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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