i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
