i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
