When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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