ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize