I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize