Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
