I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
