They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
50% drunk capacity currently
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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