don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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