So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
this is an emotional support booty call
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
