she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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