did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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